How to deal with tantrums

Imagine that you are walking around 1Utama and suddenly your little one starts screaming his/her head off, for no reason whatsoever! You are standing right next to the kid, not knowing what to do and feeling very embarrassed. Do you disown your child because the onlookers are frowning at you and perhaps judging your parental ability, or do you just run away to the darkest corners of the earth where no one recognizes you?

I am sure that there are many parents who have actually gone through this scene, maybe not once but many times, and are quite at their wits end as to how to stop this incident from recurring. Do you correct the behavior by screaming at the child or spanking him in public? Do you talk calmly to the child and try to stop him/her from creating a scene in public? Do you feel the urge to run away to some far off place with the child?

While it is very easy to follow the third option, it might not be the best for all situations. Say, you have been shopping and are in the queue waiting to pay your bill when your toddler decides to have his or her temper tantrum. Obviously, you cannot run away to far off land! Rather, you have no other option but to endure it.

The first step towards dealing with such tantrums is never to feel embarrassed by it. I have been in such situations, having to witness a stubborn two year old stomping her way and crying like crazy when I was standing at a queue in a mall. It is because of my experience that I can safely tell you – never feel embarrassed because all parents go through this experience and will never judge you. This is one of the most common toddler syndromes that parents dread but have to experience. For those who have never been parents, well – they cannot judge you without experiencing what you are going through. So, stop feeling embarrassed and handle the issue in the best possible way.

One of the most common mistakes that parents make is to admonish their children when the toddler acts in this particular manner. Nothing could be more wrong than admonishing a child for a temper tantrum. Always remember that your children are very insecure at the toddler age, and need support as well as attention from you. Instead of admonishing, it would do you well to understand his or her exact need at the moment, which incidentally would be the reason for the tantrum. It is possible that you chose to go to the mall at the wrong time, when he or she is hungry. If that is the case, then you should take care to understand the symptoms and reschedule your activity, where possible.

Calm and rational behavior from the parent is the best way to handle a toddler tantrum. You should try soothing the child and prevent him or her from displaying such behavior with soft words. However, if that does not work, then the last option is to take him or her away to some private place, either your car or some secluded spot away from the prying eyes of the onlookers, and reason with the child. It is essential to explain that you dislike the behavior immediately, so that the child can relate the two and not repeat it. Most importantly, never laugh or call the behavior cute as this could give mixed signals to your toddler, who is then likely to repeat it every other time you are in a similar situation!

Lastly, it is very essential to reassure your child after the entire tantrum is over that you love him or her because such episodes can actually frighten the toddler and he or she would need your reassurance. However, this should be done without giving in to the tantrum as it is important to set limits while disciplining your child.