When kids express anger, many parents don’t know what to do. Plenty of parents discourage their kids from expressing anger by punishing them for expressing their feelings, but what we have to understand is that there isn’t wrong with anger in itself. Getting angry is normal—everyone gets angry. It’s a valid emotion that, when handled correctly, can actually be productive.
Here are some tips from Aha! Parenting and Parents.com that can help your child understand and manage his anger.
1. Don’t fight fire with fire
When your child starts acting out in anger, it is your role to de-escalate the situation. Though it’s easier to respond to anger with more anger, doing so will only make it worse. You should remain calm and talk to them in an even tone. Doing so will help your kids calm down, making it easier for you to reason with them.
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2. Instead of time-outs, try “time-ins”
Sending your child away to calm down by himself will only make him feel more alone and helpless with his negative emotions. Instead, stay with him and ask him to explain what’s making her so angry. This not only helps you understand the situation, but also allows them to process the anger and calm down. Your child might not want to open up to you, however. In that case, Parents.com advises letting her “talk” to a plush toy, a pet, or an imaginary friend.
Read about more ways to help your child with anger on the next page.
3. Be a good example
Your kids look to you as a model for their behaviour, and if you find yourself yelling at your kids, you shouldn’t be surprised when you see them losing their tempers as well. You can’t expect your kids to handle their anger properly if you can’t do so yourself. Learn how to regulate your anger, then you can teach them to do so as well.
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4. Be a source of comfort and affection
Your child might be acting out because he feels misunderstood and neglected. Let them know that you care with a hug and with reassuring words, after you talk things out.
5. Reward good behaviour
When you notice your child dealing with his anger in a positive way, praise him. This will encourage him to do the same thing in the future.
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