No parent is perfect. We’re all bound to make mistakes when interacting with our children, but most of us do try to make our bond with our children as strong as possible. However, some things we do that may seem harmless or normal can actually be hurting our relationship with our kids. Here are some ways you damage your relationship with your child, as compiled from FamilyShare and Quora.
1. Constant criticism
We all want our children to become better, but constantly pointing out what they’re doing wrong can lead your child to believe that you’re disappointed in them. And not only that, criticism can also hurt their self-esteem.
Though it’s important to correct your child’s behavior, you should focus on teaching, not criticism. Teach your child what to do instead and focus on what they’re doing right. Try your best to maintain a 4:1 positive-negative feedback.
2. Overprotectiveness
It’s a dangerous world out there, and parents do need to take the necessary precautions. However, plenty of well-meaning parents end up going overboard. Their kids end up living in a bubble, totally sheltered from the real world. Thus, they don’t learn to stand up on their own two feet, nor do they learn self-confidence.
3. Always prioritizing other things
There will always be something else that needs to be done—housework, your job, errands… the list goes on and on. If you don’t make time for your child and always put other things first, that can hurt your relationship.
Put your phone down, turn off the television, and spend quality time with your child regularly—one-on-one, if possible.
4. Not listening when your child is talking
Let’s face it, not everything your child has to say would be especially interesting to you, but that doesn’t mean that you should only pretend to be listening. Kids can pick up on a lot more than you think.
If you really have your hands full, ask your child if he can wait until later, when you can give him your full attention. Discussing different topics that your child is interested in is a great way to strengthen your relationship and make them feel comfortable communicating with you in the future.
5. Lashing out at your child
It’s normal to get angry from time to time, but taking it out on your kids is an extremely unhealthy way to deal with your feelings. Raising your voice, name-calling, and so forth gives your child a bad example on dealing with anger, and also fosters fear, instead of love.
If you ever lose control and act out in anger, apologise to your child right away and tell them what you should have done instead.