Let's face it, parents, we can never know for sure what our kids are up to on their phones these days; some lead extremely active online — and social — lives, starting from quite young. It has become increasingly difficult to track their online interactions with so many mediums available. As such, the chances of them potentially engaging in activities such as exchanging secret sexting codes increases with more exposure.
So how do we as parents then be aware so that we can protect them from such dangers? Even if your child is still small, it's good to know what you might be facing in a few years.
But first,
What Is Sexting?
Just so you know, DTF doesn't mean Din Tai Fung. | Picture credits: TNP
According to Legal Match, sexting is the act of transmitting sexually explicit messages, mainly through the use of text messaging on the cell phone. The messages may also include explicit images that could be transmitted through various means, including:
- Cell phone text messaging
- E-mails
- Cyber chat
- Social media websites
- Various other means of electronic communication
Mums and dads, you may or may not know, but these messages are often filled with abbreviations or coded acronyms that are used to secretly exchange explicit messages — something that should send you major red flags.
If you happen to see such cryptic messages on your kids' devices, there could be more than meets the eye. Don't brush it off as if it's nothing.
What's the Big Deal?
Increasingly, even tweens, not just teens, partake in exchanging secret sexting codes and that should be a cause for worry, mums and dads.
The period where your kids transition into adolescence is crucial. It's a time where they are impressionable. They see such acts as a form of social currency, even linking it to their own identity. More importantly, it could be linked to greater underlying issues.
The emergence of peer pressure, body image issues or even wanting to be "bold" by testing waters this way. The key is to take a step back and to understand their motivations.
Children Being Internet Savvy
Besides, they are masters of the internet.
Dr Thomas Lee, consultant psychiatrist and medical director of The Resilienz Clinic, said: "Kids are a lot more savvy than most of us. They know how to cover their tracks, whether it's by using a private browser, using code language, or deleting (browsing) histories – they are continuously getting better every day."
For a start, perhaps what you can do is to familiarise yourselves with online talk.
To help you decipher what they mean, below are some secret sexting codes that your kids, from tweens, teens and beyond, might be using.
Secret Sexting Codes: What You Need to Know About Them
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CU46: One of the most alarming of the texts on the list, CU46 means "see you for sex."
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LMIRL: Let's meet in real life |
| Broken: Hung over |
DOC: Drug of choice |
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NIFOC: Naked in front of computer
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GYPO: Get your pants off |
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IWSN: I want sex now
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53X: Sex |
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LH6: Let's have sex
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TDTM: Talk dirty to me |
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8: Oral sex
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SUGARPIC: Suggestive or erotic photograph
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IPN: I'm posting naked
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PAL: Parents are listening
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PAW: Parents are watching
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9 and CD9 or Code 9: Parents are nearby
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KPC – Keeping parents clueless
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99: Parents are gone
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MOS: Mom over shoulder
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PIR: Parents in room
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WTTP: Want to trade pictures?
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KOTL: Kiss on the lips
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PRON: Porn
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420: Marijuana
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ZERG: To gang up on someone
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WUF: Where you from
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WYCM: Will you call me?
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Q2C: Quick to cum
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J/O: Jerking off
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459 Or 143: I love you
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ASL: Age, sex, location
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182: I hate you
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1174: Nude club
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KMS: Kill myself
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FWB: Friends with benefits
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KYS: Kill yourself
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P911: Parent alert
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SOS: Someone over shoulder
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SSDD: Same stuff, different day
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DTF: Down to F*** — not Din Tai Fung, just saying
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GTN: Got them nudes
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J4F: Just for fun
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KFY: Kiss for you
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RUH: Are you horny?
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There are so many more secret sexting codes out there but we'll just keep it as that. You get the gist, parents.
Other ways they can manifest (not exhaustive) is through:
1. Truth-or-dare game playing
It's a fairly common game that kids play. But it's also a good opportunity for people to take advantage of it to take things further. In such games, your kids might be "dared" to perform acts such as sending obscure messages with secret sexting codes to people, to even kissing them. Of course, there could be more.
2. Social media apps such as Snapchat
It's so easy to exchange all sorts of information online and using Snapchat is one of the easiest ways to do so; in a matter of seconds, the pictures that you post will disappear forever.
This gives the young ones the confidence and courage to experiment with sexting as they perceive it as a low-risk activity — on the condition that they have "a mutual agreement not to screenshot", according to sex and relationships YouTuber, Hannah Witton.
Picture credits: Getty Images
A Risk for Teens, Even Pre-Teens
Tips for Parents on Their Kids Potentially Sexting Others (Or If They Do)
1. Avoid focusing on negative consequences
Your kids probably already know that what they are doing will lead to negative repercussions. But because there are no preventive effects to the consequences, they will still do it anyway. Instead, your message to your kids should credible, consistent and grounded according your children's actual social experience.
2. Spend more time with them
You'd be surprised that forging close relationships and fostering transparency in your children can push them towards more healthy ways of interaction. Trust is an important factor as well. Know where to draw the line between being concerned and invading into their privacy. Give them the space to navigate the social waters, but let them know that you are concerned as well.
Besides, it's synonymous with what Sue Berkowitz, deputy of children's commissioner for England said: "Sexting is not an IT issue, it's a relationships issue."
3. Speak to them in a non-confrontational way
You can expect that they will try and avoid the conversation altogether. But that's okay, just keep it short and always remember to be respectful and consider their feelings. It should be a two-way dialog. Ask them what they know about sexting and help them think for themselves on how it would be like to have their personal information passed on to others.
A two-way dialog can go a long way toward helping your kids understand how to minimise legal, social and reputation risks.
Source: BBC, Legal Match, TNP
