For moms and dads, the key to maintaining a happy marriage is–you guessed it–communication. You have to be able to communicate what you want in and from your marriage. No matter the issue or situation, mums and dads need to be able to communicate with each other to resolve any issues or improve their households.
Sometimes it can be difficult to communicate, though. Heck, with work, stress, and child rearing? Communication may be damn near impossible.
That being said, it’s important and can’t be overlooked. So, why make it difficult when it doesn’t have to be? Author Jennifer Thomé believes it doesn’t have to be difficult at all. In fact, she seems to believe you can consolidate all that communication into one question.
That question being, “Do you think this is a good idea?“
Sounds a little vague, right? Well, perhaps we should take a look at that question in context.
You see, Thomé shared in a recent post to Mom.Me that she had been struggling to communicate her frustrations to her husband. Specifically, she found ire in his lack of interest and effort around the house and with the kids.
“[Thomé] tried reasoning. Written instructions. Angry looks. Nudges and nagging. I even tried the silent treatment, which my husband thought was a wonderful break from the routine.”
To no avail. Then, she decided to try something new–something experimental. “I would ask him to take over part of the responsibility of worrying about the small things. And I started asking him: ‘Do you think this is a good idea?‘”
How did it fare for Thomé? Moreover, how can this simple question help your marriage?
Visit page two for Thomé’s article and see how her simple question can help your marriage!
“Do you think this is a good idea?”
When I first started, he didn’t get it. He wasn’t used to paying attention to the details, and so I’d fill him in:
Do you think it’s a good idea for you to be using the computer in front of your son?
Do you think it’s a good idea to leave the cabinets with the dish soap unlocked?
Do you think it’s a good idea to let your wife go to bed without a kiss every night?
The first few times I called him out on things this way he was confused and thought I was being sarcastic. I realized that I’d been taking care of everything and micromanaging every aspect of my kid’s life, leaving him little to do as the dad.
When our son was an infant he was usually with me or his grandma, so my husband had never thought anything of working in front of him, and hadn’t noticed that his precocious little toddler turns to everyone but him to play. He also had grown used to me being too busy and tired to seek out his affection, leaving me utterly frustrated that my husband no longer sought out mine when I was ready to give it.
Asking him this one simple question allowed him to re-engage with our family, and also reminded me to make room for him to do so.
Parenthood is stressful. Messy. Frustrating. Exhausting. It’s also filled with so much wonder, love and joy that there are days where I stand in awe of it. In the past, these moments were always sandwiches between long spans of worry, frustration and exhaustion.
Now I realise that my asking this one simple question, I can both re-train my husband to take on more responsibility in the house and teach myself to let some of it go.
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