Over the years a growing number of parents have begun to let their children have too much free reign. Some parents abhor caning and label this as abuse. Others pride themselves on “going with the flow” which often times result in more confusion when parents are patient as saints on one end of the spectrum to completely losing it on the other end.
Tough Love
For some families, parents can no longer control their troubled children. They grow up into individuals who rebel, threaten and continue to delve deeper into various vices.
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Just less than a week ago, parents of a drug addict not only lodged a police report against their son for allegedly violent behaviour, but also brought the cops to their house here to arrest him.
While some readers may wonder how the parents could turn in their own child, the majority seem to approve with the parents decision. The parents drew the line and held their son accountable for the consequences of his behaviour. This couldn’t have been easy, but it had to be done. Tough love often involves making a conscious effort to stop enabling your children.
Boundaries and Consequences
Personally, I grew up with canes (yes girls can get caned too – I was caned and survived). Did it affect me psychologically? Nope. Did it keep me in check? Yes it did. After I felt the wrath of Mr. Rotan, all it took was one warning look from the corner of my mom’s eye and I would comply immediately.
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Does caning work for every child then? Not necessarily. You might have to try several approaches, but whatever your disciplining methods are, I am not here to judge you. As long as boundaries are set and you remain firm about them, I won’t say how.
Do not be, like they say, “lalang ditiup angin,” which basically means being indecisive about your stand, because rules set are meant to be kept. Do not give the impression that rules may be bent or you’ll just be setting yourself up for a lot of headache.
Tough Love Tips
- Praise your children for good behaviour. Tell them you love them to reinforce the message.
- Lay down the ground rules, set the boundaries, and stick to them.
- Make clear what punishments will result from bad behaviour, so children know the consequences of their actions.
- Always keep your promises and carry out threatened punishments. Remain calm
- Be consistent and never give in to a tantrum, however tempting or embarrassing the situation; if you do, it gives your child reason to repeat the behaviour.
- Ensure both parents adopt the same approach, so the children don’t play one adult off against the other. Don’t play good cop, bad cop.
credit : connectedfamilies.org
But above all, always show concern and be caring towards your children even after disciplining them. Often times they really need to be reminded that all this is done out of love. It is because we love them, that we have to discipline them. Even if they be tough as nuts, at the end of the day, they are still our children to guide and to love.
“I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it” – unknown