Dating at the best of times, can be exhilarating. It’s fantastic to find someone you can talk all night with, whom you can laugh and share jokes with, whom you feel can understand you.
But no matter how great the date is going, no matter how kind, funny, interesting and handsome the guy, when you’re a single mum there is always more important occupying the back of your mind: your child.
So dating for a single mum is serious business, and at the back of our minds, we are really really hoping that you will be worth it. Thus, for the brave men who are pursuing single mums, here are a few things you should know:
Don’t play games
We play enough with our kids all day long. If you feel like she would be The One except without kids, then move along. Let’s not waste time, because…
Our time is precious
Time with you = time away from our children kid. There’s usually a babysitter involved, which means the clock is always ticking for us. So its nice when you put in the time and effort to make a plan in advance. It feels like you’re respecting our time and are understanding of our limitations.
We do enjoy going out
Just because we love hanging out with our kids does not mean that we don’t enjoy getting dressed up and going out to do adult-y things with someone we like. We do enjoy it. Very much. It’s like a mini-vacation, seriously.
Liking kids isn’t the same as raising kids
It’s really jarring when a single dude pretends to know exactly what it’s like to raise a kid when really, he just likes hanging out with his nephew. Sometimes. Try and be humble and ask questions. Instead of bragging about how fantastic you are with children, why not try to get to know her?
Our relationship will be different
If we do make it to a relationship, realise that it will probably be different to your other relationships. There will always be another, tiny person involved who may make a lot of noise, who may demand to be entertained at 9.00am on a Sunday when all you want to do is sleep in, who may not allow you to take spontaneous vacations together because they have school.
Everything counts double
Single mums come with a mini human so she’s always thinking not just of herself, but another person. When you hurt the mum, you hurt the child. But when you make the child happy, you make the mum happy. So bear in mind when you pursue the single mum, there may also be a kid who falls in love with you. The reward is in the risk!