Read more to find out how to deal with your in-laws
In 2012, Lokesh, a make-up artist of New Delhi, India, married his wife, Sheetal, a tour and travel company employee. They lived with Lokesh’s parents, and their eight month old baby boy. The honeymoon was quickly over, and soon frequent quarrelling started, and having a new baby compounded the differences they had.
By May 2013, the honeymoon was truly over. Lokesh’s family said that Sheetal was spending most of her days at her parent’s house, presumably without her baby. Things came to a climax on May 14, when Sheetal’s parents came to the couple’s home, assaulted Lokesh and took Sheetal away, leaving their 8-month old baby behind.
Related: Baby vs. Marriage
Beaten to depression
Six days later on May 20, Lokesh went to Sheetal’s home in an attempt to persuade her to return with him, but he was again beaten, Depressed, humiliated and driven to the brink, Lokesh had had enough. He returned home, wrote a 7-page suicide note which described the torment his in-laws had put him through, and committed suicide by hanging.
Related: Dads can have post-partum depression too
Help! My in-laws are driving me crazy!
What would you do if you were in a similar position? What if you became so depressed that you start to contemplate extreme action? Here are some tips to “handle” your in-laws presented by Dr. Phil, arguably the most popular mental health professional. He talks to Kathy, a real person who is having problems with her mother-in-law. She wants help because “I love my husband too much to let some witchy woman ruin the good thing we have.”
1. Advice for the mother-in-law:
- Remembers you are a guest in THEIR home!
- Your daughter-in-laws feelings are very real for her, not to be dismissed.
- Let your daughter-in-law make mistakes. It is your job to support her.
- Let your daughter-in-law define her own boundaries.
- Everything you do is a gift to your son and your granddaughter.
2. Advice for the daughter-in-law:
- You’re the mom now so get the chip off your shoulder, and stop being so sensitive.
- Your mother-in-law does has invested a lifetime in your husband. Remember you both love him.
- Try to see things from your mother-in-law’s perspective.
3. Advice for the son:
- It is your job to intervene and fix problems between the now two most important women in your life.
- Your first loyalty is to your wife.
Help and support
In Malaysia, the Befrienders are a phone call away. In their own words.
“Callers talk to us about their families, their jobs, their personal relationships, money problems, sickness, depression and school concerns and etc.
Whatever your situation is, we will treat your feelings and your story with respect. Everything you tell us is confidential within The Befrienders, we will not keep any records. We promise you this. You will always have the right to make your own decisions, including the right to end the phone call.
If you are feeling like you have no one else to turn to, or if you just need a safe place to talk, please call us. We are always here to listen, you are not alone.”
Befriender’s Malaysia can be contacted at 03-79568144 or 03-79568145. And emailed at [email protected]. They are located at 95 Jalan Templer, 46000, Petaling Jaya, Malaysia.
Resources:
Harassed by in-laws, man commits suicide
‘My Mother-In-Law Drives Me Crazy!’
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