X
theAsianparent Malaysia Logo
theAsianparent Malaysia Logo
EnglishMalay
Product GuideSign in
  • Becoming a Parent
    • Project Sidekicks
    • Pregnancy
    • Losing A Baby
    • Conceiving a Baby
    • Adoption
    • Labour & Delivery
  • Ages & Stages
    • Baby
    • Child
    • Pre-Teen & Teen
  • Parenting
    • Parenting Tips
    • Marriage, Relationship & Sex
    • Viral News
  • Health
    • Illness
    • Allergy & Syndrome
    • Vaccinations
    • Give Health A Shot
  • Breastfeeding & Nutrition
    • Breastfeeding
    • Healthy Meal Tips
    • Formula
  • Education
    • Preschool
    • Primary School
    • Middle School
    • Special Education
  • Money Parenting
    • Tips for Parents
    • Tips for Toddlers
    • Tips for Older Kids
    • The 5 Personas
  • Lifestyle
    • Money
    • Contests & Promotions
    • Holiday
    • Spirituality
    • Home
  • TAP Recommends
  • Press Room
  • Products
  • Awards
    • Parents' Choice Awards 2023
  • Advertise With Us

Help your children deal with divorce

3 min read
Help your children deal with divorce

Divorce is tough for any family. Find out how to guide your children through the divorce process the RIGHT way with the help of Dr. Judy Ho, a clinical psychologist in this article.

Divorce and the effects on the familyDivorce. The mere thought of it can send shivers down the spine of mums and dads. The family is torn apart, finances are depleted and kids get caught in the crossfire between parents who can no longer get along.

Parents often have the misconception that children will be caught by surprise when they find out their parents are getting a divorce. But many kids are intuitive and have an idea that divorce is imminent. What they don’t know is what their future holds as a result of the dissolution.

Dr. Judy Ho, a clinical psychologist, says that when guiding kids through the divorce process it’s important to state over and over that the divorce is not the kids’ fault, and that they’re still loved.

She outlines some suggestions for parents to help guide their children through the divorce process:

1.  Check-in with kids regularly regarding how they’re feeling about what’s happening and find out if there’s anything they want to talk about.

“Be open to listening to your kids’ emotions, validating how they feel, and letting them know any emotion they feel is okay,” Ho says.

In many divorces, Ho adds, the kids feel the divorce is their fault and that if they were, somehow, better children things might have turned out differently. It is important to emphasize to kids that divorce is between mum and dad and was not a result of anything they did.

2. For children it’s hard to understand why a divorce is taking place. Dr. Ho says it’s important to convey positive messages such as, “We have decided not to live together anymore, but we still care about each other. We will stay friends, and we will love you the same way.”

Some divorces, however, aren’t as amicable. “Parents who hate each other make things more complicated,” Ho continues. “If the parents can’t stand each other it’s a good idea to write down some key talking points in advance and stick to them.”

Ho suggests reinforcing how much the kids are loved. If the divorce is really ugly, sometimes talking about things with the kids in the context of a therapy session with a therapist moderating the discussion can be helpful.

3.  Don’t engage with a difficult parent in front of the kids.

The best thing to do when one parent is more difficult than the other is to disengage from it. Do not get defensive in front of the kids or try to trash other parent. Instead, address issues directly with the other parent and let him or her know that it is best to refrain from speaking badly about the other in front of the kids

4.  With older kids, it is important to let them have a say in where they want to live. Set your own ego aside and ask your child how he or she feels about the living arrangements.

“Even though it might hurt to hear the answer that a child would prefer to live with the other parent, it is a good opportunity to give the child a feeling of control because in the divorce process they, very likely, feel very out of control. The child should suffer as little as possible as a result of the divorce, and seeking their input is a way to buffer them from some of the effects,” says Ho.

Partner Stories
Champs & NASOM Bekerjasama Untuk Meningkatkan Kesedaran Tentang Autisme
Champs & NASOM Bekerjasama Untuk Meningkatkan Kesedaran Tentang Autisme
Mengapakah ibu-ibu mengandung dan menyusu memerlukan suplementasi DHA?
Mengapakah ibu-ibu mengandung dan menyusu memerlukan suplementasi DHA?
Facts Vs Myths About Formula Milk Every Parent Should Know
Facts Vs Myths About Formula Milk Every Parent Should Know
Adakah Penting untuk Ajar Keseimbangan antara Menyimpan dan Berbelanja?
Adakah Penting untuk Ajar Keseimbangan antara Menyimpan dan Berbelanja?

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

Kevin Woo

  • Home
  • /
  • Penceraian
  • /
  • Help your children deal with divorce
Share:
  • 7 Things that can predict divorce, according to science

    7 Things that can predict divorce, according to science

  • How to deal with your child's slow eating habit

    How to deal with your child's slow eating habit

  • Ubat Gigi Terbaik dan Selamat untuk Cegah Fluorosis Gigi Pada Bayi dan Kanak-Kanak

    Ubat Gigi Terbaik dan Selamat untuk Cegah Fluorosis Gigi Pada Bayi dan Kanak-Kanak

  • Apa Itu Cacar Air & Kenapa Kita Perlu Melindungi Anak Daripadanya?
    Partner Stories

    Apa Itu Cacar Air & Kenapa Kita Perlu Melindungi Anak Daripadanya?

  • 7 Things that can predict divorce, according to science

    7 Things that can predict divorce, according to science

  • How to deal with your child's slow eating habit

    How to deal with your child's slow eating habit

  • Ubat Gigi Terbaik dan Selamat untuk Cegah Fluorosis Gigi Pada Bayi dan Kanak-Kanak

    Ubat Gigi Terbaik dan Selamat untuk Cegah Fluorosis Gigi Pada Bayi dan Kanak-Kanak

  • Apa Itu Cacar Air & Kenapa Kita Perlu Melindungi Anak Daripadanya?
    Partner Stories

    Apa Itu Cacar Air & Kenapa Kita Perlu Melindungi Anak Daripadanya?

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Conceiving a Baby
    • Adoption
    • Pregnancy
    • Labour & Delivery
    • Marriage, Relationship & Sex
  • Baby
    • Baby Names
    • Ages & Stages
    • Parenting Tips
    • Breastfeeding & Nutrition
  • Health
    • Fitness
    • Allergy & Syndrome
    • Illness
    • Healthy Meal Tips
  • Education
    • Preschool
    • Primary School
    • Middle School
    • Special Education
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Money
    • Holiday
    • Contests & Promotions
  • More
    • TAP Community
    • Advertise With Us
    • Contact Us
    • Become a Contributor


  • Singapore flag Singapore
  • Thailand flag Thailand
  • Indonesia flag Indonesia
  • Philippines flag Philippines
  • Malaysia flag Malaysia
  • Sri-Lanka flag Sri Lanka
  • India flag India
  • Vietnam flag Vietnam
  • Australia flag Australia
  • Japan flag Japan
  • Nigeria flag Nigeria
  • Kenya flag Kenya
© Copyright theAsianparent 2023. All rights reserved
About Us|Team|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
  • Tools
  • Articles
  • Feed
  • Poll

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

theAsianparent heart icon
Kami ingin menghantar anda pemberitahuan untuk berita terkini dan gaya hidup terkini.