Every day we parents, are surrounded by opinionated people and mostly, they are ‘non-parents judging parents.’ People who think they know better, people who genuinely mean well and people who just want to top others with their words.
People are faster at judging then empathising and more often then not, they are people who have yet to experience being in your shoes.
Non-parents judging parents: 1. Is your breast milk enough? You should consider giving formula.
We are so used to hear about non-parents judging parents when it comes to feeding babies. Honestly, I wouldn’t know. As a stay-at-home-mom, I can afford to direct latch at anytime. But my boobs aren’t see through for me to measure how much milk she’s getting.
Chubby cheeks and Michelin arms should be a testament that she is getting enough right? Ironically, those who said this to me were parents and non-parents. More parents then non-parents to be honest. SMH..Even my confinement lady said this to me.
Non-parents judging parents: 2. Aiyo why so messy?
Yes, I know my home is starting to look like a pig sty and a scene from a tornado aftermath. Thank you for highlighting. I already know lah. You think so easy meh? Between coping with the new baby, giving more attention to my preschooler, house chores, cooking and sleepless nights – life’s tough you know when you don’t have extra help!
3. You shouldn’t let your child control your life.
Simultaneous meltdown
I admit I hardly have time to myself now compared to when I was single. But oh what a joy(and pain) my kids are. It is a sacrifice I chose for myself before embarking on a journey as a mom. I think it is absurd to say kids control our life.
I mean, they certainly influence a change in our lifestyle – but they definitely do not control it. Having kids doesn’t always mean you have to give up everything.
4. You are so lucky you get to nap with your baby.
The kiddos, synchro sleeping
I’ll have you know that a new-born nurses every two hours. If you’re lucky, your baby might do a full feed in 15 minutes from both boobs. If your baby cluster feeds in a span of an hour – then I really feel your pain.
By the time your baby finally sleeps, an hour would have passed and I will only have an hour to rest before baby wakes again for the next feed. Capiche? But do I have times to sleep? No. See point no.2.
5. You shouldn’t let your kids play games on the phone/tablet so much.
TV too. After a long day with the kids, sometimes parents just need a short break to gather what’s left of their sanity for the day. Can I at least enjoy my dinner for instance, and not shovel food quickly and mindlessly into my mouth?
Yes, I am one of those moms with a Doraemon diaper bag filled with colour pencils, activity books, small toys and sticker books. I DO try. But some days only the tablet would suffice. So please cut me some slack.
But out of all the things you can possibly say to me this one takes the cake:
When are you planning to have another child
Please have the courtesy not to ask me this 6 months right after I just popped a baby. I’m still trying to cope with this one as it is. One day at a time ya? Ask me in another 3 years.
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