Teach your child to be independent

Want your child to have that zeal for independence? Here’s how to make the most of it.

1) Let your child make his/her own decisions

It can start with choosing what color of shirt he wants to put on or what kind of sandwich he wants to eat. As he grows older, let him determine the things he needs to do for a certain task or situation. How many hours does he have to study for geography? What does he need the most for the time being – a violin instructor or a math tutor? Is it okay to spend all his allowance for a fancy mobile phone or gadget?

2) Trust your child

Let her be in charge of a specific situation where she can learn to rely on her own instincts or skills to get things done.

3) Make rules and stick to it

If he wants to adopt a puppy, he must show that he is capable of cleaning after the poop and stuff like that.

4) Do things together

It will help them understand the need to be responsible, cooperative, and self-reliant.

5) Allow your child to fail

It is tempting to butt in if she made the wrong decision. But it will actually help her learn things, even if it means the hard way. Failures help shape your child’s maturity and independence. The best you can do is to provide information about a better choice the next time.

6) Provide your child with responsibilities

Work on a checklist that can be divided into easy, age-appropriate tasks. For example: (1) Carry the plate to the sink, (2) Go back and get all the cups; or (1) Take the clothes out of the dryer, (2) Match up all the socks.

7) Put your child in a real situation

If she really wants to buy something, offer to pay half the price while she shoulders the other half. This will make her work hard to get what she wants and eventually learn the value of money.

8) Help your child determine his/her own short term and long term goals

Ask her plans for the future or at least for this weekend. What kind of tertiary education she wants to have after high school? Can she finish her writing assignment by Sunday night if she went to the movies first?

9) Be a role model

Let your child see you in action so he can learn to do it the right way. For example, say out loud, “ I have to plan our weekly dinner menu" or “I’ll go get the screwdriver to tighten this loose screw" or “I have to give up that morning latte before work so I can save up for a new…"

10) Acknowledge your child’s achievements

Every time he made the right choice, let him know your approval. It makes him be more confident in doing the right thing over and over again.

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