10 tips to keeping pregnancy a secret during your first trimester

Of course you’re excited about your pregnancy. You want to shout it to the world and make sure everyone knows - “I’m pregnant!" But, It's very common for new mummies-to-be keeping pregnancy a secret until the pressure of the first trimester subsides.

It's with good reason. The risk of miscarriage is far greater during those first 12 weeks. Many women feel that having to tell people you have lost the baby, would just add to the distress already felt. Plus, there is likely to be people who did not hear about the miscarriage, asking how things are going, just when you thought you were through the worst. Check out these top tips on keeping pregnancy a secret during your first trimester here:

#1 Tell ONE trusted friend

Find ONE single person that you can tell. You need to be absolutely 100% sure that this person will not tell anyone else. This will help a lot because you can keep that person up-to-date on news and get a little satisfaction out of that.

Try telling someone that knows few other friends/family of yours. If you do not have anyone that you feel can keep your first trimester secret, just skip this altogether, but I bet you have one person you can trust.

#2 Join an online group

Join an online pregnancy community group. This is good for two reasons. #1, you can discuss issues with people at the exact stage of pregnancy that you are. #2, you get to feel that you have support from people who are going through it with you, without knowing them in person.

#3 Don’t give yourself away

Try and give the game away by shopping in a maternity store or buying things that will indicate a baby is on the way. Watch what you post on social media sites. Things such as mentioning morning nausea or excessive heartburn might give up your secret, especially to mums who know the signs.

If someone figures out your secret, you will either have to lie or hope they don’t tell anyone. Try to avoid that for the remainder of the first trimester.

#4 Keep a journal

Buy a journal and write all the details of your pregnancy in there. This will give you an outlet to let out your emotions of hiding a pregnancy as well as serve a good record of things that happened along the way. Surprisingly enough, you will forget the little details very quickly. When you write them down, you will be reminded instantly of anything forgotten.

#5 Start a countdown

Write on a hidden calendar the days leading up to the day you feel ready to tell the world. It will help with the anxiousness of hiding your pregnancy. Then continue to cross off the days until you can make your announcement.

More than likely you will find out you are pregnant between 2-4 weeks, sometimes longer. But, this means around seven weeks of cross off days. It seems like a lot, but the time will fly by! Before you know it, you will be able to give away that first trimester secret.

#6 Work on announcements

Start taking pregnancy related pictures. If your bump is already a little prominent, include it in the pictures. Check around for designs for announcements and find some that you really like. While you are working on this, your mind will be distracted from the urge to tell everyone and it will make it easier to hold it in. Also, it will make the announcement even better if you have cards or whatever all done up the day you decide to make an announcement.

#7 Do NOT tell your other children

You might think telling your other children will be fine as long as you tell them to keep it a secret. After all, they aren’t gossipers are they? The problem is that children do not comprehend the concept of a secret very well.

Just when you think you are fine, your child will mention a baby or brother/sister coming. They will do it nonchalantly in the middle of conversation with someone. Not because they are malicious, but because it was on their mind so it came out of their mouth. That’s how kids work.

#8 Work it out

Being so early in your pregnancy, you'll still be going to work as normal. It can be extremely difficult to hide some symptoms, like morning sickness, from preying eyes in the office. Tell a trusted colleague and tell a sympathetic boss.

They'll not only help to cover up your quick dashes to the loo, your boss can make sure you do not do anything that poses a risk to you or your baby. Telling your boss will also help if you are late because you were too nauseous to get out of bed. Or, if you need time off for a routine check-up.

#9 Avoid “pregnancy don’t” scenarios

If you go to a club or party and turn down a drink, people might get suspicious. If you go to a theme park and refuse to ride the rides, people might get suspicious. This is especially true if you normally never skip out on these things.

Any event that features a pregnancy don’t-do might give you away. SO, unless you plan on coming up with an elaborate excuse to tell everyone, I would skip it altogether.

#10 Remind yourself that its worth it

Whenever it gets hard and you really feel that you need to tell someone, remind yourself that it’s worth keeping it a secret in the beginning. If the worst happens, your heart will break every time you have to tell people that you are no longer pregnant.

By keeping it a secret, you won’t need to tell anyone because no one knew. Again, the time will go by fast and it will build so much excitement by then!

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Written by

Christy Rasmussen