My phone or my kids?

Parents addicted to smartphones, are you one of them?

We are constantly attached to our mobile gadgets. But what impact does it have on our kids?

Identify a group of adults and their families in social settings – restaurants, parks, malls. Which behaviours will they be exhibiting the most?

A) Talking and playing with their families

B) Snacking or drinking

C) Simply relaxing

D) Using their Mogets

That’s right folks. The answer is D! Forget the children of Generation Y! Parents of gen X, W and V have grown a new attachment – a Moget!

Related: Parent-child power struggle

I am a father of three kids myself, and I thank the day I threw away my smart phone. I now use a cheap RM80 phone that can be used for calls and text messages. I often leave it at home. I seldom answer the phone when I am with family, sometimes forgetting the call and calling back the next day.

Why all this? Because this is what happens to relationships when PARENTS love their Mogets more than their kids.

1. You will limit your family unit – Time not spent with kids means time not spent building closeness and family ties. There will be no family unit. Period.
2. You limit your kids – Your kids will not receive your wealth of experience and knowledge that will help them become wiser, skilled and talented people, who will be confident and believe in themselves.
3. You stunt your kids emotional development – When kids are unable to build the bonds that let them let loose and relax and trust at home, they cannot develop emotionally. They learn to bottle feelings and become cold-hearted individuals.
4. You stimulate your kid to find and depend upon the outside world – Need we say more? We all know what lies out there for kids desperately looking for love and healing that they cannot find at home.

Related: When did you fall in love with your child?

My children face the guaranteed ban of no internet for a month if they are caught on the net outside the home, or if they are not spending 10 times the amount of time with family members as opposed to their time with their Mogets. I find this makes them overcompensate in positive ways. What happens when a child thinks the Moget is its parent or sibling?

1. They become labelled with Internet Addiction Disorder. It is about to become officially recognised internationally, and many western countries have Internet detoxification centers.
2. Their communication skills become stunted. Already, we face a generation of kids who can only “friend” on Facebook. They are shy, timid and nervous when confronted with a real world social event.
3. They learn to stop thinking, and to rely of Mogets for answers, calculations and advice; rather than to reason their way out of problems, social difficulties and making choices. Without a screen in front of them, they shut down.
4. Family becomes meaningless, and parents are seen as a threat or enemy who punish them by talking away their Moget when they misbehave or use their Moget too much. Parents are usually the ones who introduce them to and make them use the Moget too much in the first place.

A psychologist in a local private hospital had this to say. “It is already an epidemic. We see it everywhere. Obese, silent children are the screaming indicators of this disease.”

Related: How to be a good parent

Resources:

1. How to miss a childhood: The dangers of paying more attention to your cell phone than your children
2. Your Phone vs. Your Heart
3. How Your Cell Phone Hurts Your Relationships
4. Four-year-old girl is Britain’s youngest iPad ADDICT