Keeping a marriage healthy and flourishing takes a lot of work. We have to be particularly mindful about the way we treat each other so that we continue to grow and thrive in the relationship. Though men also do these things to their wives, women are particularly susceptible to these behaviours that can seriously damage a marriage in the long run.
1. Always being negative
According to FamilyShare, men are wired to fix things, and if all you do is complain and mope, that can be a huge burden on your partner. We all have our off days, but if you notice that your bad days are extending into prolonged periods of dissatisfaction, try to be more in control of your mood. If you really can’t pick yourself up from your slump, it may be time to consult a professional.
2. Not putting your husband first
Don’t you love it when your husband prioritises you? In the same way, he thrives when you make him a priority. Don’t fall into the trap of taking your marriage for granted and putting your children, career, etc. first. Cherish your husband and it would be easier for everything else to fall into place.
3. Blaming him when things go wrong
If your marriage is more of the traditional sort, your husband is probably the person of authority, whether you two formally agreed on this or not. There’s nothing wrong with your husband taking on the leadership in your family, but when you undermine him and blame him when the crap hits the fan (and they will, that’s how life works), then that can damage your relationship.
If you disagree with his decisions, Paired Life recommends doing so respectfully instead of making him feel incapable of leading. Work together when making important decisions and don’t go behind your husband’s back.
Read more about behaviours that could be damaging your marriage.
4. Nagging him
Nagging comes naturally to most of us who believe that unless we keep pestering and prodding, we won’t get the results that we want. This leads to a cycle of the nagged being annoyed and withholding, causing the nagger to nag even more. And it can lead to serious consequences—the Wall Street Journal labelled nagging as “the marriage killer”, as it’s “more common than adultery and potentially as toxic.”
5. Withholding affection
Giving your husband the silent treatment and withholding physical affection and sex is manipulative and emotionally abusive, according to LiveStrong. You might see your behaviour as nothing more than harmless sulking, but this could send a message to your husband that you only love or want him for what he can do for you. When you are angry with your husband, find some time for yourself so you can blow off some steam, then talk things out. You’ll both feel better in the end.
6. Putting him down in front of others
It’s important that you support your husband, especially in public. Humiliating him in front of others will damage his self-worth and also his perception of your relationship.
Paired Life also says that speaking badly about your husband also causes your friends to view him as a bad match for you, creating a division between him and them. Instead of venting to your friends and family after every single one of your husband’s missteps, build him up instead.
7. Living beyond your means
Your husband may not be able to afford to give you that designer bag you’ve been drooling over for ages, but if he works hard to provide for you and your family, that’s plenty to be grateful for. Make the most of what you have by setting a budget a following it. Your husband will appreciate you for it.
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