Dumping parents – Karma or just rotten children?

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An 82-year old Singaporean man was taken by his children to Johor Bahru, complete with wheelchair even, and dumped on the streets, alone and confused.

Abandoning your parents, abandoned parents

Find out why dumping aged parents in homes or at the curb occurs

Abandoned Parents: Dumping Aged Parents

The Singaporean Consulate-General in Johor Bahru provided the man with assistance after he was picked up by Malaysian police. Singapore’s New Paper reported that the man was sent to the Angsana Home under The Destitute Person’s Act. New Paper reporters claimed they had never seen a Singaporean in such a sorry state. He looked like a person who had come from a state of famine, hungry and dirty and smelling from 10 feet away. He has since been removed from The Angsana home by his family members, and is hopefully, staying with them now.

Other Family Centers in Singapore say that this is becoming a worrying trend. “If this is happening is Singapore, what makes anyone think that aged parents are not being abandoned in other countries?”

Abandoned Parents: Why dumping occurs

Most parents love their children and try to bring them up with love and care. Generally, these children would never consider dumping their parents, and at worst, would pay for them to live in homes for the aged and visit them regularly. Even this is considered to be disloyal in many Asian communities. But why would children actually dump parents by the roadside? Here are some quoted reasons.

“My parents abused me. They should be in prison. I will never care for them in any way.”

“I have been struggling with a father who is able to stand on his own but refuses to do it. Every morning we carry him to the toilet and he refuses to defecate in the toilet. After 30 to 50 minutes sitting on the toilet, we take him to the shower and he immediately defecates as soon as he is in the shower. He then lies in the shower floor on top of the feces…”

“My father died 5 years ago leaving me with a super physically fit 83 year old with dementia. I find I am worn out with juggling a demanding job and a family and really wanted my own time as I approach 50 not a huge and frustrating responsibility. It is a myriad of appointments to achieve anything and all by me. No other relatives to call upon. I feel I need to preserve myself and desperately want to end my caring role.”

Abandoned Parents: Caring for the elderly

Malaysia has a well-defined and written policy when it comes to caring for the elderly. It is called the “National Policy for the Elderly”. Some of the items listed when it comes to caring for the elderly are:

  • Providing life-long education so the elderly find new purpose in life
  • Giving them platforms and opportunities to participate in community work
  • Having public service that caters to their needs
  • Ensuring public media constantly create awareness about the needs of the elderly

Go to their website, there is information there that might just provide you with the opportunity to work with the elderly to truly make their golden years golden!

 

Resources

  1. S’pore dad, 82, found weak, dirty and hungry in Johor Bahru after being dumped by family
  2. Caring for an elderly parent
  3. Malaysian National Policy For The Elderly

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