Since giving birth 10 months ago, almost everyone I encountered, asked me one question, “So, since you’re working, who is taking care of your baby?” I work as a full time lecturer, and a part time writer and a mum to a wonderful, rambunctious 10 month old boy. My husband works from home managing his company overseas and he takes care of our son.
I’m at the office from 10am-4pm and besides teaching, I’m also in the process of writing 2 academic research papers with my colleagues, I also counsel my students and I have to do my daily tasks; such as marking, paperwork and assignment guidance.
My typical day starts at 7am when I wake up, I begin my day by pumping milk for my baby, bathing the baby, feeding the baby, cleaning myself up and prepare myself to go to work. I’m out of the house by 9am and I have to teach everyday, from 10am to 12pm. It’s about 18km from my house to my office and with the jam, it takes about 1 hour.
I normally have lunch at my desk, so, I can read, type and do some work while I eat. I pump again at 2pm and I will be writing, typing, trying to complete my work by 4pm. It takes about an hour to arrive home. By 5pm, I reach home, I wash and sterilise all the bottles and pump parts, feed my baby, do some light chores and rest.
At 7pm, I bathe my baby and myself and have dinner. While resting, I do some light reading for my academic paper and most of the time, I’m too tired to do any reading, so I end up just lying on the bed playing with my baby until he decides to sleep.
By 10pm, we’re both fast asleep. But, not for long, because he tends to wake up multiple times for milk throughout the night and I haven’t slept through the night since he was born. This cycle continues the whole week and during weekends, it’s much better because I get to catch up on all my work and chores.
While I’m at work, my husband is not a babysitter, he’s a loving father to our son; he takes care of our son and he feeds him, cleans him every time he poos, entertains him, teaches him how to read and walk and showers him with love and affection and because of this, our son is developing very well and he an extremely fast learner.
My baby hits each developmental milestone at least a month early and he’s very well behaved, vocal, inquisitive and very strong.
My husband is not a helper, he’s a wonderful parent; On weekends, he cleans and disinfects the whole house, he keeps everything in check and ensures our baby is in a safe and clean environment. He cooks delicious food, bakes healthy treats and keeps the house neat and tidy.
My husband is a wonderful dad and a family loving man because he is more than a babysitter or a helper. He loves spending time with our son; we spend most public holidays visiting farms and zoos to instill love for nature and animals into our son.
He “teaches” our son to cook by explaining to him, step-by- step instructions, in fact, he is so much more than a baby sitter or a helper. He is a parent that any child would be proud and happy to have, and call Daddy.
Why must it be a gender stereotype issue when a man decides to be at home, raising his child and a woman decides to work? Why must the responsibility of “putting food on the table” be solely a man’s job?
Because of my husband, I’m able to pursue both of my passions; teaching and writing. Because of my husband, I’m also able to be a better mother to our son. Because my husband is not a babysitter or a helper, our parenting skills is so effortless and somehow, our little family arrangement, just works.
A babysitter or a helper is a job, not a responsibility, any man can be a father but it takes one hell of a man to be a Dad.
