Becoming a mother is a very exciting transition indeed. Even after a year of being a mum, I’m still struck sometimes by how privileged I am to be raising and enjoying the company of a sparky, active little girl.
But being a mother is definitely not an easy job. One thing that I noticed is that a lot of times it feels as if mums are being measured by how much the child sleeps, eats, how much they grow, how clean they are, how fast they talk, walk, how they behave around other people and so on and so forth.
It feels like a test, and we’re being graded on all of the above. If not by the people around us, then certainly by ourselves. In this competitive modern world, everyone is anxious to “do their best” to the point that sometimes we’re so stressed, guilt-ridden and wracked with worry that we don’t enjoy the most important part of motherhood – our children.
So for next year I have just two resolutions that I feel are important to keep and they are:
Listen & trust yourself
After 9 months of pregnancy, the bond between mother and child is unshakeable. Which is why I strongly believe that the mother’s instinct is real. However, it can oftentimes be drowned out by well meaning advice from those around us.
Yes, our spouses, parents, grandparents, parent-in-laws, siblings, friends, doctors all want the best for baby. There is no question that the intentions are good.
But for every situation that arises, many different solutions can apply too. And every child is different, with different personalities so it stands to reason they will hit all their milestones at different times.
No one knows your child better than you do, so mothers please listen to your heart. I find that things always work out for the better when I take the lead and trust myself to make the decision.
Be kind to yourself
It is so important to not just give our love to our babies and families, but also to remember to love ourselves. And from every aspect – physically, mentally and emotionally.
Sometimes going for a massage or a yoga class or just spending some time with good friends can do wonders for us and we shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for help to achieve some peace and equilibrium.
But most importantly, lets resolve to be nice to ourselves.
No I refuse to feel that I ‘cheated’ because my baby prefers to breastfeed to sleep with me.
No I will not feel guilty simply because my child’s mouth is a bit dirty at mealtimes and she makes a mess.
No I don’t mind keeping my belly a little jiggly. No matter what anyone says.
And sometimes, we can be our own harshest critics so just as we want to be kind to everyone around us, this 2017 lets not forget to be kind to ourselves too.
