5 Things You'll Do Differently as a Second-Time Mum
Most mums of more-than-one will tell you that your second baby is a game-changer
Are you expecting your second child? Are you ready for a change in your parenting game? Mine was a complete turn around and it is quite true what they say: First one and you worry to death. Second one aiyah.. chin chai a bit lah.. live a little. Third one, so as long they don’t kill one another.
Currently, I’m only on my second and we’re stopping. I can’t test and confirm the 3rd theory out. One thing is for sure, things were a lot different the second time around.
#1 You’ll get over the ridiculous clothings
Yes, you really do. I started unpacking just the basic button down shirts, long pants, swaddles, mittens, socks and maybe a couple of rompers. I didn’t bother at all with the onesies or the sleep sacks. Can you remember how floppy newborns are? The less complicated the clothing, the better: something that goes on easy and quick to put on.
With my first, I had it down to matching suits and mittens and socks. Come baby number two and I was just contented that she’s clothed. Never mind if the shirt doesn’t fit quite right. Socks? What socks? No need lah. She has been in sandals since she started walking.
#2 You’ll stop being such a Germophobe
I remember wiping down all the toys late into the night with special toy and pacifier wipes which I bought at exorbitant prices. I made sure she didn’t eat off the floor and we went through so many bottles of those travel sized hand sanitizer. I would diligently take her to the sink to wash her hands after everything and you would not have seen me practicing the 3 second rule, when food fell to the ground.
Don’t even get me started on how many packs of antibacterial wipes were in my diaper bag then. With the second now and working from home, I hardly monitor what they pick off the floor. I mean, I do mop the floor occasionally….hmm.. and there’s been no severe diarrhea so far.
#3 Your housekeeping standards will change.
I actually imported my MIL for a month from our hometown. She was around to help me settle and figure out some semblance of a routine for handling everything on my own – and what a blessing she was.
It was still relatively manageable when my second daughter was an infant: I would babywear her and could handle the house chores, the ferrying of my eldest to preschool and back, help with her home work, care for both kids and still put food on the table.
As my second daughter grew, it became progressively harder. She was clingy, and toys were always strewn all over the floor. Did I mention I also stopped wiping them? My laundry is size of mount Everest, seriously? I need a nap!
#4 You’ll give up on documenting every. little. milestone
As a first time mom I thought my eldest to sign. It wasn’t so common yet 5 years ago in Malaysia, but I really put a lot of effort into it. I had a lot of time to teach her many living skills, house chores and she was already doing preschool activity books from a tender age. So it was natural that I documented everything for bragging rights as a proud first time mom. It was all on video: every achievement, every milestone, dates and all.
For my second daughter, I just couldn’t find the time. I did vlog for a bit about her signing progress but gave that up soon after. My phone was already too full to host anymore videos plus it has been dropped way too many times. I was barely surviving my daily routines, let alone find time to sit down to do video editing.
#5 You stop hovering
I never left my eldest. I made sure she was safe. Even when she’s on a play date, I would sit there like a moderator making sure she was alright. It really sounds absurd to me now, because what harm could possibly befall her during a play date?!
In many ways my eldest was very restricted when she was young, whereas my second daughter had more freedom. Now I let my second daughter play with her che-che’s friends. And even if there were a couple of times when she ran out crying, we would just comfort her, shrug it off and off she goes to play again.
If you’re feeling very uptight as a first time parent, try having a second. It is amazing how laid back you can become.